A miller there is who works in a mill
And brawny of arm is he.
He brought me flowers, and brings them still.
But he's not the lover for me.
A doctor there is in a town close by.
His dose is a small pink pill.
And it's not very often his patients die.
As a lover he makes me ill.
A lawyer there is who holds court in town.
His cases are all the rage.
He wins 'em all with a smile or a frown.
As a lover he's far too sage.
A preacher there is with a surplus flock,
His sermons teach one to be good.
He wears a gown and a surplice frock -
I wouldn't love him if I could.
A sailor there is with a clipper ship.
And he sails the briny blue.
He'd never do for a lover for me,
Though of course he might for you.
There's a merchant who lives in a city near,
And he keeps a department store:
And some of his line is extremely dear.
As a lover, he'd make me sore.
There's a farmer who lives in the far midwest,
And it's grain that he grows to sell.
He don't make enough for himself to eat,
As a lover he'd do like ----- well -----
There's a millionaire who owns an estate
Where you never could want for service.
But take it from me, that's the kind of a life
That would certainly make me nervous.
There's a tramp I know with a beautiful soul,
And a poet whose heart is pure.
But neither one can support himself,
So I'll be an old maid, for sure!